Score: 6

"Not much meaning, fairly generic"

submission: An Unfortunate Girl

date: June 3, 2009

At the beginning of this flash, I began to expect a video depicting the story of a person cursed with a terrible disease. The exposition was fairly captivating and set up a story fairly nicely.

However, the story seemed to end right as it started. A girl dragging a dead body into a house (why? is she hallucinating? insane? what does this have to do with the disease?), a flashback back to her childhood, all with random split-second cuts of the generic "black and white dots you get on your TV along with noise" that's supposed to be scary, tentacles popping out of the ground, and a doctor wearing a mask that's either supposed to be a bird's face or a horse's penis attached to a man's face. This goes along with the common "creepy text fonts" and blur effects. I know the story is a bit jumbled, but I truly don't think a sequel could clarify anything that happened here.

The animation is decent, but the artwork is what deserves mentioning. Firstly, whoever drew the teeth on the characters does not draw them very well. Hands have fingers on them in case you didn't know (it made me laugh when the girl raised her curious ball of flesh and pointed to a house), and overall the artwork was subpar. Some of the more detailed scenes (the windmill, for example) were drawn very well, but the rest was fairly simple.

Voice acting was surprisingly well done. All of the voice acting was in high quality, and everything fit very well. I have literally no complaints about voice acting whatsoever.

Lastly, the "disease" really needs to be clarified. I know this is supposed to be similar to Salad Fingers (somewhat random), but when you begin with an interesting story, please stick with it. Random tentacles are not a side effect of a disease, they're random things you put in a flash that's trying too hard to be scary.

Overall, the voice acting and animation were both great , the story needs work and clarification, and the artwork could also stand to be a bit more detailed. Also, please do not complain about people not contributing to the site. These people are the majority, and just because flash and music are the main forms of contribution, this does not mean that everyone has the proper tools at their disposal. You seem very pretentious when you say this.

To make one last thing clear so that you don't take this the wrong way, YES, I know that the story is not entirely clear yet. However, you cannot just stuff random things into a flash and hint that it's a story and promise to clarify it all later. It is impossible to explain everything in this flash when there's really only a small piece of the story (the very beginning) to start with.

Score: 8

"Eh......"

submission: Territory WAR Online

date: August 4, 2008

There are so many flaws in this game, but they aren't simple ones like bad controls or terrible graphics or unfitting music. No, in fact, it's superb in all of those aspects. The problems with this game are complex and irritating, and although it seems like nitpicking at first, it takes so much out of the experience that you simply can't get around it.

A good example of this is the online play. Although it's fairly quick at matching you up with someone in the demo, you'll always either be facing someone who quits the game as soon as it starts, or someone who's played the game so much they know every cheap tactic and every possible way to win. You'll get the quitters most of the time anyway, so it's not like you'll be able to find that many matches.

Another problem with the game as a whole is that the stages are almost designed to cater to the person that knows every detail of it. Take, for example, the lava (i have no idea what it's actually called) stage. If you actually get a match and you're on the right side of the stage, you're pretty much fucked. Your opponent will almost always jump onto the highest perch and fire a rocket at one of your inactive soldiers. There's only one way to defend against this (by building a wall to block the rocket) and even then the explosion might pass through and kill you anyway.

When i got bored of the constant forfeits and the occasional extremely good opponent, I decided to play the full version of the game. Hoping that the people that constantly quit wouldn't go play the full version, i registered and started it up. The full version is definitely more complex than the demo version, but not in a good way. There really isn't any difference between the 8 (it probably isn't 8) modes, and if there is, it isn't explained.

Although no one really quit in the full version, everyone was much cockier, and the cheap tactics got cheaper. This is one of the few times i'd recommend a demo of a game over the full version, because everything is just too complicated. Let's compare the demo to the full version. In the demo, you quickly get matched up with someone and the match starts instantly. In the full version, you have to choose between a variety of modes, challenge someone to a match, and screw around with settings that are entirely needless.

In the demo, you can either face someone who will just quit or someone who will kick your ass. In the full version, you can either face someone who will kick your ass, or someone who will fuck around with the settings until you simply can't play it. Who the fuck wants to play 1 man in space without any rockets? They don't quit, but I almost want them to.

But that's enough talk of the full version. I'm not taking any points off for this being a demo, mainly because the demo version is actually better, but also because the full version would cause a negative quantam rip in space had it been posted on newgrounds.

This game is really clever in that it has multiple weapons and a diverse strategy, and i really can't take that many points off for the many people that either use cheap tactics to bring in victory or those who quit as soon as the match begins (it can't be helped). Although a few things like the positions your characters spawn in (the ones that a single rocket will knock you clear off of), i constantly remind myself that it couldn't really be predicted either.

The graphics, control, sound quality, gameplay, and animation are all great, but it can be very tedious to find a decent match. 4/5, 8/10.

Score: 2

"Ugh.........."

submission: Rainbow Roller V1.1

date: July 26, 2008

The difficulty is insane, the graphics are mediocre. the music is repetitive and annoying, and, above all else, the "magic" is a useless gimmick.

Let me just say that the magic is useless. Either that or controlling your character with the mouse is useless. They get in the way of each other far too often. For example. while controlling your character, you may accidentally miss him while he's frantically moving about, and instead draw a line. This line will turn your character around, causing him to die.

The fact that you can't simply keep using your magic is just stupid. You actually have to wait for it to recharge. Not that it takes too long. It just gets in the way of you trying to draw a path above some spikes. Right in the middle of it, you run out of magic, and end up having to do the level again. This really makes you end up using the mouse to move your character.

Of course, it's truly difficult to get around the spots where YOU NEED the magic, so the game is basically forcing you to use it. But there's so many flaws in the magic that you're better off just not using it. I mean, seriously. All too often you'll end up drawing a straight line instead of a ramp, and your character will turn around and die. How is that helpful at all? I'll need to make my character move up straight lines far more than i'll need him to turn around, especially after getting past large spikes.

Onto the graphics and music. The music is just repetitive, no explanation really needed. The graphics, though, are just mediocre. They aren't good, they aren't bad, they're just plain. And since the game's concept is not only flawed but isn't even original, it just doesn't have much going for it anymore.

You use the mouse far too much in this game. FAR TOO MUCH. To stun enemies, you click them. To move your character, you click him. To draw a line, you use your mouse. It isn't very easy to click on everything at once, and since the magic has so many flaws, you'll probably end up fucking up anyway.

Of course, the game isn't difficult because it means to be. It's difficult because of the control. There really isn't a need to turn your character around, unless you're trying to get a key or you got turned around by one of the enemies (which is really annoying, it shouldn't have to do that in addition to draining your health).

Overall, the concept is unoriginal, the graphics are mediocre, the sound is repetitive, the control is insane, and the magic takes so much out of the game that all the tiny inconveniences form one huge inconvenience, causing your character to repeatedly die. It was a good concept, but the execution crippled it. 2/10, 1/5.

Score: 0

"The stupidity this flash brings is simply amazing"

submission: -A Cry for Help 2-

date: July 14, 2008

I'm just wondering, how many people here think it's ironic that making spam helps stop spam? Stopping a group from getting turd and underdog only makes you one of those groups, and then people will want to stop you. It's one thing to actually try to stop spam flash with original content and actual animation, but just spam? Come on, the irony is painfully obvious.

As a flash, this is worse than what the KK makes. At least the KK makes spam that's comical from a certain perspective. When you're just trying to stop spam by making spam, and getting idiots to support your cause, you're doing worse than them.

This has a moving background, two frames of animation (from what i've seen, at least), and no comedy whatsoever. It is spam because it offers nothing and delivers nothing, and the irony of it is its only redeeming quality. If you want to fight off spam, you don't use spam to do it.

I still can't beleive how many people blindly support you. I mean, seriously. What has NG come to?

Score: 10

"Original in every possible way."

submission: TouchDwnTurnAround Collab

date: July 13, 2008

Not only does this redefine the way collabs are made, it's original in every possible aspect. I never heard this song anywhere else, and it's become an instant favorite for me, and i doubt it's ever been done before.

Although rtil and frozenfire, along with a few other artists, made great use of the pixel tool, the remaining artists looked like pigshit compared to rtil and frozenfire. But when taken for what they are, they're adequate.

Some scenes just stand out from others, sometimes breaking the rhythm of the whole thing, while others piece it back together. A good example of this is the fact that not 100% of it was made with the pixel tool. Although it can be excused for this because of the fact that not everything can be done with it (you can't always expect perfection), that doesn't make it any less inconsistent.

Still, this flash gets 10 stars in my book for being original. With all the video game parodies, video game sprite movies, and stuff that just barely has to do with video games always getting the views, it's nice to see a change in pace.
Hopefully tom will choose this over the next "what if ego did" flash that pops into the portal and put it on the front page instead.

Thank you, "Pixel Tool Collab- MDAY08", for bringing something new to the table.

Score: 10

"Thank you for the whistle points, my good sir."

submission: Awesome Grounds

date: July 11, 2008

They will surely come in handy for leveling my whistle up, so long as some asshole mod doesn't give me negative whistle points for the sole purpose of being a douche.

But seriously, this flash is amazing. Not because it is well animated, not because it has shiny graphics, not because of the clever dialouge (all of those things are purposefully terrible). No, this flash is amazing because it has the same power that draws crappy/funny reviews that B has done before.

I encourage you to keep making negative statements about things a lot of people love. The turnout is awesome. Also, i look forward to my review being rated useless by the same dolts that write all the deleted reviews. Thank you, my good sir, for basically recreating B.

Score: 8

"Eh."

submission: Riddle School 3

date: July 10, 2008

I'm not really good at these kinds of games. I usually get past one puzzle just to get stuck on another and have to consult the guide. This game was a bit different, in a couple ways (both good and bad):
1.It's easier, even though it has those "stuck" points that every adventure/puzzle game has
2.There are no save files

Let me express that this game is much easier than most of the adventure/puzzle games i've played. Although i still just randomly clicking at objects, it actually got me somewhere this time. Soon i had the gum and the ruler and all that was left was to decide what to do with them. After about ten seconds, i had the rubber band and was on a streak.

Everything is very obvious in this game IMO. When you find something, you know exactly what to do with it. Some people who love adventure/puzzle games don't like this and prefer a challenge, but to me, a person that isn't that great at them, it's a nice change of pace. A good example of this is the code "blabbles". You know it's going to be in 1337, and you're obviously going to type it in 1337.
At the same time, though, it's a bad example, because that's not the whole picture.

This is the "stuck point" i was talking about. Even though it was obvious it had to be typed in 1337, i had to type it in reverse too. Now why would i have to do THAT, i asked myself. Being used to the game's obviousness, I came up with nothing. Was there something i missed? No way, i thought. I had gone to every room, a bad trait of mine. (I actually explored all the options in the teacher's lounge before going upstairs, just to be sure i wasn't missing anything).

And here we come to the biggest problem, THERE IS NO SAVE FILE. Because the lock never accepted my answer, "81088135", I closed the game and decided to come back to it later. OOPS, big mistake on my part. The save files are taken out and replaced with a timer. Yay, i have to do everything in one sitting instead of just taking my time to do want i want.

Other than that, the graphics, sound, animation, and general gameplay are all great. I also liked the cutscenes and dialouge, both were well executed and well-written. Overall, this game is a great sequel to a sequel. 4/5, 8/10.

Score: 10

"The king of collabs."

submission: MGS: Flash Collab DISC 01

date: July 9, 2008

What can i say? It's perfect. Everyone did something different, and every artist had their own style. What was really amazing, though, was that no one did metal gear awesome. It's a humongous collab, and pretty much every artist made me laugh a little. Couldn't find the easter eggs, though. Oh well. 10/10, 5/5.

Score: 4

"Really Frustrating."

submission: Paccoland

date: July 1, 2008

As soon as i started playing this, i noticed two things.
1.Everything in this game derives from pac-man, pretty much labeling it as a clone.
2.The control scheme is just terrible
Although the grahpics are great and the animation is smooth, the fact that you move your character around with the mouse takes so much out of the game. If it was the arrow keys or the WASD keys, it would probably be much better.

Nothing is very original in this game. The one monster i came to that wasn't a ghost was just a bigger version of the ghost. It didn't have any extra features, it just moved around like any other enemy. Of course, i only got to that level. It's not easy to play this game using the mouse.

The only thing i see that IS original in this game is the control scheme. Which is, of course, terrible. If you're trying to get away from an enemy, the best you can do is make yourself fly across the screen. Sure, there's a brake, but it's not as if you can just go where you want with a simple keystroke. No, you have to charge your mouse up in the exact direction you need to go, then continue doing that until you collect all the coins and reach the exit.

The weirdest thing i noticed is that you act as if pac-man had not influenced the game at all. There's no mention to pac-man in the description, you describe the ghosts as "hungry monsters", and, of course, your character's name is "pacco". Sure, you added a few things like conveyer belts, and called the monsters and objects different things, but all in all, it's almost exactly like pac-man.

The control scheme is a huge problem and should really be fixed if you decide to make a sequel. Using the WASD keys would make this game much easier, and a lot less frustrating. 2/5, 4/10.

Score: 10

"Simply winful."

submission: It's Over Nine-Thousand!

date: June 26, 2008

The animation is perfect, the way you drew out the characters is awesome, and the music and flash as a whole ran smoothly. The random assortment of pictures vegeta appears in are clever but funny, and almost make me want to be able to pause to see each and every one. The preloader game is also pretty fun. I got a score of over 9000 (Seriously, I did. I has proof.)